A while ago, I found the blog called “A Chronic Voice.” I loved the articles the page shared on Facebook and after looking into the website further, I found these Linkup Parties, where chronic illness bloggers write about certain prompts each month.
This will be my first time participating in a Linkup, and I’m excited to take part. So without further ado, here is my interpretation of the May Linkup Party prompts:
After my winter flare, I am getting back to the task of looking for ways to get better; to take back some of my life; to decrease some of my symptoms, if possible.
I scheduled doctor appointments that I neglected while in my flare, sorted medical paperwork, and am getting ready to get back to exercising regularly.
I also decided to find a PCP better suited to my needs. I went to 4 PCP “interviews” (as I like to call them) in which I asked questions to figure out if the doctor was a good match. I found one I liked and will be starting up care with him in the near future. (I’ll write a more in depth blog about the process of finding and “interviewing” doctors at a later date.)
I feel like I was somewhat in this bubble during my winter flare. I was just in my own little world and was just trying to survive the day to day that I forgot about my life outside of this survival. So now, I’m prioritizing things that make life enjoyable like going to movies with friends, spending more time outside, and writing. I feel like this freeze that was inside me is melting and I’m slowly becoming alive again. It’s nice, to say the least.
A while back, my immunologist suggested I start trying to add foods that I’ve reacted to in the past back into my diet. That was about 6 months ago and I still haven’t done it. Why? I’m scared. Sometimes my reactions are big and sometimes they’re delayed, but they’re always guaranteed to be not fun. However, I know that my medications have a very real possibility of letting me eat certain foods again. And I don’t want to close myself off to this opportunity because I really do miss these foods.
So, along with the help of my therapist, in my coming sessions, we will be investigating my anxiety and apprehension to re-introduce these foods. Then, I will begin trying them out again (ahhh!). I feel okay trying this out with someone helping me through the mental aspect of it. So we will see how it goes.
I am actually meditating! This is something I’ve struggled with doing in the past because the meditation apps I’ve tried always wanted to do body scans, which just made me more painfully aware of my symptoms. But, I gave it another go with the Calm app. I tried the Premium subscription free trial and really liked it. There are so many meditations to choose from, and while some involve body scans, I can just pick others. I now have the Premium subscription and meditate almost daily. I’ve found with meditating, it’s more of the simple act of taking the time to sit still for 10 minutes that helps me be more mindful throughout the day.
By being more mindful and being aware of the moment, I’m boosting my happiness. Meditating helps me practice being in the present moment, instead of thinking about the future or the past. And by keeping my mind focused on the here and now, I’m able to enjoy life more.
In that same vein, I am setting my intentions to be enjoy life. I know that sounds a bit weird, but through becoming chronically ill, I’ve come to realize how caught up I’ve always been in the opinions of others, whether in relation to my illnesses or not. I don’t want to do things because I think that’s what others want or need of me. I want to live according what I need and what I want to do.
So I’ve began using tools and strategies to help me live a life more in tune with what I want. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, but I’m glad I’ve discovered this part of myself so that I can move past repeating negative behaviors into engaging in more positive ones//